THE SITUATIONAL CRISIS OF A GENDERED EXISTENCE

On one evening in November, as I returned after meeting one of my oldest friends, my mind started shooting questions at me. My friend and I were constantly discussing the situation of a woman in this world. From being drastically affected due to the pandemic to being mired within the socially constructed expectations in general, we discussed over not so good tea. No, we were not ranting or complaining. We were merely pondering over the reality and trying to patiently understand the reasons behind the so-called ubiquitous situation.

While walking back to my home my mind said “it is a situational crisis”. What does that mean? I asked myself.

As a few phenomenologists would agree, we are all situated within this world. Being present here and now, in the world of objects and people, we are constantly exposed to society. Society shapes us and we decide the destiny of the social sphere by our thoughts, actions, language and other forms of expression. Somewhere and somehow, in this world is placed a woman. She is not different from the male counterpart but she is supposed to be different, expected to be different and thus she becomes different over time.

The concern lies in the fact that the difference is huge and glaring. Being a woman is a constant reminder of one’s limits, emotions, femininity, identity and whatnot. Even when a woman succeeds, she remains a woman and the treatment towards her remains the same.

She remains a woman.

What I mean to say is that in a fluid-structure called society patriarchy thrives in different forms. If this weren’t true then platforms as significant as the decision-making bodies of the nations wouldn’t have witnessed the questionable attitude towards women. This is a situational crisis according to me. Situations transform and are thus dynamic, so is patriarchy. From those associated with the cohorts as prestigious as the members of the Swedish Academy to the ones gaining fame in the entertainment industry to the thriving corporate sector, every sphere has witnessed the differential treatment of women at many levels.

The fact that each condition is unique and personal to the woman who goes through it makes it a situational crisis for her. She is at the centre of the crisis and mostly what she goes through is the suffering that cannot be shared. What I intend to say is that one cannot dissociate this treatment from the society she is placed in. Her situation is defined by her environment and her environment by the people present in it. Misogyny is adaptive and it mutates with the mutation in the situation. Thus, there are many forms of misogyny and only she can identify the one she has experienced.

While I, through my interactions and experiences, can only talk about women as a gender going through it. I do believe that each gender, including the dominant male, goes through some or the other form of crisis defined by the situation they are placed in. Toxic masculinity, intense competence, pressure to be the alpha etc. being some of them. The much-known adage, ‘Boys don’t cry’ remains the test case in a society that knows how to subtly ingrain the idea of gender within us.

The way pandemic panned out for many women and placed them in compromising situations such as the extra burden of the household chores, juggling between work and family etc. reflects how misogyny finds a way in every situation. Thus, this situational crisis.

The solution lies as much in one’s choices as it does in the law and order. Situations of emotional manipulations (can happen to all the genders and not only women in particular) or small but implausible sacrifices cannot be quantified by any law in particular. These require constant revisiting to our definitions of gender, culture and society. For adaptive patriarchy, we need a flexible notion of gender that remains true to the spirit of justice and fairness.

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